


dickworld (fite me im bad@titels!!)

by superpear8



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, FUCK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9668522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superpear8/pseuds/superpear8
Summary: im reading mort im not even done and im already doin this shit lord help me





	

“Princess, I love you, you make my heart go boom boom!!!” Mort said, his hands on his heart which was going boom boom.

Keli tipped her head way back to peer down her nose at Mort. “Fuck off, B!!!” she said, lifting her skirts and strutting modestly out of the room. Cutlet scuttled away behind her.

Ysabell stood there trying to contain a laugh. She liked Mort, yeah, he was super cute and all, but like holy shit. Get dunked on, boi.

“Mort.”

Ysabell gasped. “I didn’t even say that out loud, so you can take your fucking bezerk button and shove it up your ass”

“I get 2 b triggered at w/e i want!!!” Mort screamed and ran for the window, still screaming

“O shit!!!!” cried Ysabell. She couldn’t let her boo go jumping out of windows. So she got there before Mort did and blocked his escape with her body

“If u want 2 jump out da window ur gonna hav 2 go thru me!!!” she said

“ahh!” mort crashed into her. He realized suddenly that she was very beautiful and her titties were super huge. how had his straight boy eyes missed it?!?!!?

“wowza…” he said, face turning nearly as crimson as his hair, which wasn’t at all crimson, but rather a sort of rusty brown, more orange than anything, seriously god when people write gingers inccooreectly it makes me so pissed like at least get it right damnb!!!

ysabell was into it. “wanna not jump out the window and instead jump into my cleavage?”

“yes please!!” mort said. but not desperately, he’s NOT DESPERAte!!!

yes you are, said a voice in his hed. reemmebber me? I’m inner u. see a small puppy. kick it and send it F L Y I N GG BOYYYY. i mean, MORT. sorry my guy ahhahaha

damm it! thought mort! even my own inner me calls me boi. I’m not boi!!! this is not the krusty crap!! this is MORT!!!!

so aabasically what happened was he motoerboarded her bobbers and they went out for a couple years and got married and had baby who was actually cruella devilry but not evil! and also she is da bom!!! but i haven’t gotten 2 dat part so like no spoiled plea!!!!!

like ok so then death was there. and he bitch slapped mort in the FUCKING FACE

HOW DARE YOU MOTORMOUTH MY DAUGHTER he said really anger WITHOUT GETTING HER DINNER FIRST WHAT IS WRONG W/U B??!?!?!?!?

“o my god master i didn’t know u were here!!” exclaimed mort. “i am sorry you had 2 see dis!!!!”

“yeah sorry dad” said ysabell

WHATEVER!!! said dad. he looked at mort. with a wave of his bone hand he teleportaled them to the human world where they could go on a proper d8!! so they did

THE END

 

 

o shit wait what haped 2 kepi and cutmore?!??!? well see like since he’s like 20 and she’s 15, cutlass like totally didn’t try 2 bone her or anything b/c dat would be SUPER WERD!!! ok???? in da book he is like totaly creppy and like looks at her naked!!! but we all kno that’s not da reael cutout!!!! so he takes hr back 2 her palace and she is queen and every1 is happy and gutwell becomes a tru wizzard and he gets a wand and he goes 2 hogwarts like A REAL WISERD!!! ok.what house is he in u ask??/ who give sa shit i say. not me lmao  
OK

THE END for real this time

 

(AN: thank u gaiz soooooooo much 4 reading dis!!! piss out!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> it gets progressively more insane as it goes down


End file.
